I am a Holistic Transpersonal Counselor.
My gift is I intuitively see which lessons you could integrate next, which would
It is natural for me to share whatever I have learned, and it seems I have a gift for it. I teach and I continually learn, grow, and evolve as we all do when we are open. I have no attachment to any philosophy, religion, or beliefs; nor do I try to convince you of anything. I understand that we are totally unique individuals, yet incredibly one and the same; we are here in this world to learn, and we are each different in how we go about learning.
My motivation to learn, grow, evolve began from a crisis, from having suffered, from a long period of pain. It is only from suffering, that we learn something is wrong. When there's a splinter in your foot, you know from the pain that your attention is needed. In this case, it is easy to be open to a remedy. Yet, when our entire life is a suffering, we are less open to examine its cause, until it reaches a crisis point. I realize by being open to learning my life evolves and becomes ever more joyful. I see any suffering as an opportunity to learn, as a gift—a blessing, albeit in deep disguise.
No one could guess I felt as I did. I had attained the American dream at age 30. I owned a new custom home in Marin County where I lived with my wife and two beautiful children; my sailboat was in the harbor in Sausalito; and I made lots of money without much time or effort. Yet, I was suffering from a depression that seemed to have no end. I remember feeling at first shocked, then consoled, and finally relieved, when I realized I could escape how I was feeling with suicide. I was seriously planning how I was going to go about killing myself, when I was suddenly stopped by a flash of insight. All at once I doubted my mind. It was the first time I had ever questioned my know-it-all attitude. I was confounded by not being able to reconcile suicide with my knowing everything; “I believe I know everything and I'm planning to kill myself? Could it be that I don't know everything, that possibly I don't know anything?!”
That moment of doubting my mind was the opening I desperately needed. Somehow I had trusted myself enough to dis-identify with my thinking. I had glimpsed the reality that I am not my mind. I remember the shock of realizing that I didn't know anything and that I probably had very much to learn. I went from being suicidal to a truth seeker in one flash of insight. No wonder I have written a book of my insights!
At about age 42, I was living and working in Oregon at the Osho commune. I remember a magical awakening I had on the truck farm there on a very cold and wet winter day. There were only about 8 of us working in that part of the ranch all winter and nothing fun was ever happening. It felt like Siberia to me. I was miserable for what seemed like an eternity. I was stuck in my unhappiness for months, yet I continued to agree with my negative thoughts. Then one morning, I made a decision and said to myself, "enough is enough! today I am leaving this place and that's it!". I was trying to decide whether to hike out to the main part of the ranch which would take hours, or wait for the bus at 5 pm, when this much too happy woman leader showed up to give us all a job to do. Undecided about what to do, I went along with what was happening. She got us all up on this large wooden flatbed trailer she was pulling with a tractor and off we went, very uncomfortably bouncing over rough plowed muddy ground, all the while holding on to huge artichoke plants which needed a new home. It was cold and raining and I was hating every moment, re-promising myself that today I am out definitely out of here. As you may have guessed if you knew Osho's ranch, everybody else was having a great time, which was not helping my black mood. Then I heard a small voice in my head say to me—look, there is no problem is there? you are going to leave—but since you are here for only another afternoon why don't you just let go of this mind of yours that you know is making you so miserable, you can have it back at 5 o'clock when you leave, and you can just enjoy this one last crazy outing. This sounded very logical, so I agreed. Immediately, I found myself in bliss. Suddenly, everywhere was beauty and magic. It took me the whole time we were out in that field for me to plant just one artichoke plant. I felt like I was making love to it, sitting in the mud, in the freezing rain. That satori lasted most of that day. Needless to say, I didn't leave the ashram. My trust in my master deepened as I gained insight into his devices; why we were being put into these difficult and seemingly crazy situations.
My work is counseling and teaching meditation. I teach many meditations, the best and the most powerful are from my master Osho. Most people do not know these meditations which work wonders to heal, relax, and awaken. When one begins to meditate, one may simply want to feel more relaxed. There are simple breathing techniques for this. However, for one who is in crisis, who realizes that something is missing in life, one may chose meditation to awaken. Meditation to me is the true self help, yet it goes well with many therapies.
Awakening, self discovery, healing, is a journey inward, to yourself, to your higher truth. I guide and counsel those who get stuck, go astray, feel lost, or are having difficulty along the way. I know how easy it is to stumble and fall on this path, and get distracted, feel confused, disoriented, or lost. The way is indeed often dark. Often, I feel my work is simply that of someone with a flashlight shining a light to show a way out of what appeared to be a dead end.